Thursday, September 07, 2006

Feeling FAT!!!

Lately Ive been feeling FAT.... Its very disheartening to see my ugly and nasty paunch every morning when i get ready to work... In fact its very disgusting.... God! how i wish one day i wake up with a tight washboard abs.... Wishful thinking!! But at least right now, I can flash to Mrs Z something round and bouncy belly... AND also compare who has the bigger stomach, esp after lunch...... hehehe....

I really really really really really tried my best to at least jog 3x a week... See 2 weeks ago, i did jog and use free weights... Then after the exercise, every muscle in the body ache, terribly.... Guess must did something (didnt do proper cool down?) wrong, no???
Naturally, after that I need to "rest"... So the resting period has become 2 weeks of non activity... How like that???? HOW??????
SIGH!!!!

I wish im more motivated to do something... Like today, after work i was raring to go and run but the bleeding train was delayed... and due to extra standing on the train, when i left, i got such a severe backache and was in pain.... and guess what, after i reach home im too lazy to do anything... instead here i am, infront of the PC, blogging about how i feel fat... Its so so so PATHETIC!!!


I hope this weekend i will get a certain inspiration or motivation to actually jog.... I gotta set a goal.... And one thats achievable.... My resolution was to lose at least 10kg by end of the year and time is running out!!


Oh and to Roy, hope u are feeling so much better and have a safe trip back to San Diego...
Im very happy to meet up with u last nite... U r one of my friends that i cherish a lot...
Take care and i really hope that you will email regularly....

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Thinking and thinking...

Lately i have been thinking a lot of my relationship... Now im not sure if i would like to continue or not...
Little things abt what been said and done is slowly eating at me....
Just wondering why suddenly I feel like ending the relationship... And at times I dont really care what is going to happen abt it too.....

Was wondering if my tolerance level has dipped??? Usually if there are little fights and arguments, I would not like to say much and would rather keep quiet...
Let the moment pass and if I can keep inside as much as possible then I will let the matter rest... But nowadays, certain words and actions have been flashing across my mind on most nights when im abt to fall asleep...

Oh and there are ocassions when I feel like ending the relationship, there and then!!!
Why is that so???

*SIGH*............